God... save me...

Then what if the best is yourself?

So why do I feel like I'm falling in love with you?

I know that you've got a ways to go.

I know your passion.

I see your striving.

And someday, I hope...

When you've grown up a bit

You'll notice me.

You just smile that addictive smile
I'll just pretend I couldn't see
You love the way I live in style
The way you look is killing me

Well

If I was just a little bit younger
And you were just a little more wise
If we could only change this life
Then maybe
Just maybe...
You could be mine

The Newsboys... I was young and at the time only listened to the Christian genre. I was so obsessed I had their posters EVERYWHERE and when I went to their concert, I actually BEGGED their manager to let me meet them, even though he said they were changing clothes!

I know that somehow this is a part of God's will for my life, I just don't think I'm doing it right. 

I'm done with this.

I'm wrong.

I must be.

I want to be wrong.


I hate this.

I have this guy friend of mine with whom I have had conflicts in the past with.. I mean HUGE conflicts. Sometimes he can drive me crazy. And sometimes he knows just the words to say to ruin my entire day... I used to have these feelings for him... and now that i know him, I swore to myself I'd never have feelings for him again... I don't... and yet....

Why do I have this feeling I should spend the rest of my life with him?



This needs to go away.

Well, I'm back to school. My dorm is great, and cozy. Do you ever get the feeling this year may change everything? I think I'm scared to death.

Two days ago I found out my brother is getting married next year. Yesterday we met with him and his (girlfriend/fiancee?) to meet with the pastor and let her see our church.

And I thought my life was changing drastically before...

As I sit here writing this, I look out my window to the overcast skies that have been pouring down rain for the past few days. Much needed, but it gives off a sense of dreariness that only adds to my mood as I realize in less than  a week I'll be three and a half hours away from here.  Four months have flown by so quickly; where does the time go?

At this point in my life I'm stuck between two places and people that I love so much. Where I am you are not... that's how it always goes, doesn't it?

I am left to ponder what this year might have to offer...